a special gift

This past week I was given an amazing gift. I got to go to St. Louis to visit my dear friends, Melissa and Ryan, and two of their babies, Willow and Lachlan. As most of you know, Melissa and Ryan had triplets, Ian, Willow, and Lachlan, born at close to 25 weeks gestation on September 8th. Ian is still in the NICU in Urbana, Illinois, but just a couple weeks ago, Willow and Lachlan got transferred to Children's Hospital in St. Louis. Melissa has been there with them ever since and Ryan has been traveling back and forth between home and work in Bloomington, IL and the hospital in St. Louis.

This past week we had an already scheduled visit from my parents. They offered to me that they during part of their stay in Colorado, they would take care of Anya and Evan if I wanted to make a trip to see Melissa. I seriously considered the offer for several days before actually making plans and it all just fell into place perfectly. It wouldn't have happened without the enormous generosity of my parents, so I owe you a big thank you.

I flew into St. Louis on Thursday evening. Melissa and Ryan had left a car for me at the airport, so I was able to drive myself to the hospital to come find them. Both Willow and Lachlan were moved to St. Louis for surgical treatment on their airways. Basically, the ventilator tubes that have helped them breath were keeping them alive, but had also created scar tissue that was not allowing them to have an open enough airway without the tubes. Melissa and Ryan were given treatment options about how to proceed, but were left to do a lot of research on their own. It was a very tough decision, but they eventually came to the decision to have a cricoid split performed on Willow and a tracheotomy for Lachlan. The cricoid split basically means that they split open a couple of the cartilage rings in her throat to make a larger diameter airway. Lachlan had a tracheotomy instead because a cricoid split for him would have involved cutting through his vocal chords.

When I arrived, Willow had just got back from her surgery. Lachlan's surgery wasn't until the next morning, so I was able to hold him that night. It was such a special experience. I held him forever and loved it! I am so glad I was able to do this. Both babies are so tiny, but so adorable. And I saw a picture of Ian and he looks like he's grown a lot.

Here is a photo of Willow from before her surgery (I wasn't here when this was taken). It shows her beautiful, big eyes peeking out. After the surgery she was a lot more bundled up - to keep her warm and to keep her hands secure so she didn't try to extubate herself (again!).



And here are a couple photos of me holding Lachlan.





We stayed at the hospital until pretty late on Thursday evening and then went back to the Ronald McDonald House where Melissa and Ryan are staying. That place is amazing. If you ever have an opportunity to volunteer or donate or help them out in any way, I would highly recommend it. Here's a couple photos of us in their room. Anya was obsessed with knowing all about what kind of beds we were sleeping in, etc., so I mainly took them for her.





On Friday morning, the room above was in a state of panic. We awoke at 7:00am to the sound of knocking on the door. Melissa mumbled something about it couldn't be our door when they knocked again. She got up to answer it and it was someone from the house saying that the hospital has been trying to reach them. Oh crap! All cell phones have to be turned off while in the NICU and it didn't get turned back on when we left the night before. And the phone in the room must have not been working because it never rang either. So, we were panicked. Melissa called the hospital and the nurse said that she had been trying to get a hold of them because Lachlan was going to be taken for his surgery in 15 minutes! They had previously been told that his surgery wouldn't be until after 10am, so this was quite a surprise. We all just threw on some clothes and grabbed our stuff and ran out the door. We got to the hospital and Melissa and Ryan ran inside while I parked the car. They were able to make it just in time to see Lachlan before his surgery. Phew!

I met them in the surgical waiting area where they actually had their own semi-private cubicle to wait in. I accompanied Melissa to the pumping room for a while and then we went back to the waiting area. While we waited, we started watching an episode of Desperate Housewives on TV. Light, funny TV is a great distraction. It didn't take long for the surgeon to come into their area to give them an update on how things went. He said that everything was "textbook" and they didn't have any concerns. What a treat to meet this guy. He is renowned for being good at his job - the surgical part. But my guess is that he is also renowned for being a bit of an arrogant ass. It felt like he was on his best behavior with me there listening, but I could see right through it. Wow, he was a piece of work!

After the surgery, we went back to the NICU. The babies have separate rooms, but they are right across the hall from each other, so we were able to wait in Willow's room until it was okay to go and see Lachlan in his room.

Here's a close-up of Lachlan with his tracheotomy. Sorry, Lachlan, the camera I brought takes horrible pictures. He is WAY cuter than this photo, but it gives a good picture of what he looked like when he came back from surgery and before they put a tube back in his nose. It was so cool to see his whole face with no tape or tubes on it. He was a bit of a stoner-baby when he first came back and would NOT blink his eyes, so they eventually gave him some eye drops to keep his eyes lubricated. It was so amazing watching him just stare and never blink.





Someone from the hospital had been in touch with Melissa about doing a radio interview for the March of Dimes radioathon. She was asked to talk about her experience of having premature babies to help raise money for the March of Dimes. When she found out that Lachlan was having surgery the same day, she decided that she would cancel the interview, but then she eventually decided to go ahead and do it anyhow since his surgery was over before she needed to be there. It gave her something to do and she felt really good about helping an organization that offers support to people in her situation. So, we headed to Union Station where they had a ton of radio stations all set up at folding tables in the shopping center lobby, all broadcasting and trying to get people to donate money. It was pretty cool.



Melissa was a total celebrity! She did awesome. She ended up doing a total of six interviews with six different radio stations. It was really cool and listening to her talk made me kinda teary. Some of the interviewers asked totally lame questions, but some of them really got her talking about her babies, which is what I think will get more donations. People don't want the facts, they want the emotions. That's what makes people get up and actually give money. Anyhow, she was amazing - both for giving of herself and sharing her story and for doing it just hours after her son had surgery. Amazing!

Here she is being interviewed by the hip hop station: HOT 104.1. We eventually just had to call it quits and stop the interviews so that she could get back to the hospital to see her babies.



We stopped at the grocery store to get some basic food for Melissa and Ryan to keep at the Ronald McDonald house and then went back to the hospital. The afternoon began pretty uneventfully, but then took a dramatic turn in the late afternoon. Melissa had just called me over to Willow's room because she was going to change her diaper and thought I might like to see her all unbundled from her blankets. I came over and the nurse was getting things ready when she turned Willow's head and her tube went down a little too far in her throat and also some water dripped into her open incision. All of a sudden Willow's heart rate dropped really low and her oxygen saturation dropped to 5%. Not good...not good at all. The nurse panicked and called in another nurse. I left the room and went over to Lachlan's room and alerted Ryan that something was going on. They ended up pulling the code alarm and what followed was seriously like something straight out of a TV show.

It was completely amazing and completely terrifying to watch. I have to admit that I seriously thought, "Oh my, she's going to die. I'm right here watching and she's going to die." All these people showed up in response to the alarm and showed up so quickly - actually quite calmly, but very seriously. They all threw on their gowns and gloves and depending on who they were, entered her room or stood outside the hallway. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. I counted 28 people that I could see. And almost none of them were making any eye contact with Melissa and Ryan. The chaplain showed up and came over to Melissa and Ryan and asked how they were doing. Melissa was very calm, watching the monitors and eventually said, this isn't so bad, she's coming up pretty fast this time. Unfortunately, she's been through this before. But she was right, in not too long, it was okay. I'm obviously not glad that Willow had to go through this, but it was an amazing experience to witness, because as Melissa said, "This is my life." And it really stinks sometimes.

Eventually, things got back to "normal" and Willow did eventually get her diaper changed.



That evening, Melissa's brother stopped by to see the babies and we all went out to dinner together.



Getting to and from dinner took a bit longer than we had expected and we ended up getting back to the hospital 15 minutes after visiting hours were technically over. We weren't planning on staying up in the NICU very long, but we were afraid that they wouldn't let me go up, so I was totally sneaky. See, when you come in from outside, a security guard stops you and you have to go up to the front desk and tell them what patient you are here to see and what your relation is. They look things up in the computer and print you out a name-tag. Even parents have to do this, every time they come in the building. A combination of a bunch of little details and my sneakiness got me through. When we approached the desk, the security guard was chatting with someone in the hospital about how his daughter was in the ER downstairs. Bad for him, of course, but good for me because he wasn't paying too much attention. There was a small line at the desk to check-in, so I just waited behind Melissa and Ryan as if I wasn't with them. When it was their turn, I just stood behind Ryan so the guy at the desk couldn't really see me. They got their name tags and I just turned and kept walking right beside them, not saying anything and not making eye contact with anyone. I know it sounds totally lame and not a big deal, but at the time I really felt illegal and still can't believe it worked.

Here's one of my nametags from when I was there.



After getting your nametag, you go upstairs to the NICU floor and have to check-in at the NICU front desk. This is kind of a silly procedure because even Melissa and Ryan have to stop and have the person at the desk call back and ask the nurse if it is okay for them to come back. If one of them is already back there, then they can go ahead and just bypass the desk.

Here's a look down the hall of their part of the NICU. Willow's door is the first one on the left and Lachlan's is the first one on the right. The babies have separate nurses. Anyone entering the room has to grab a yellow gown from the cart outside and put it on and then either wash your hands or use alcohol foam. When you leave the room you have to remove your gown and clean your hands again. So, every time they want to go from one baby to the other, they have to go through all of that. Over and over and over and over. By the end of the day, the trash cans are overflowing with yellow gown trash.



Here's a picture to show Willow's room.



And here is Lachlan's room.



And here's a picture of the lovely mama.



Anya had been really sad when I left that she wasn't going to get to see the babies, too. She made them a sticker picture which I gave to Melissa. And Melissa made her this sign and took pictures with Willow and Lachlan. She LOVED it when I got home and showed it to her and gave her the sign. Top photo is Willow and bottom one is Lachlan.





On Saturday morning, we were only at the NICU for about an hour and a half before Melissa had to drive me back to the airport. I totally kept my emotions in check until I started saying goodbye to the babies. Here I am saying goodbye to Willow.



Once the tears started, they just kept coming for a while as I said goodbye to Lachlan and Ryan. It was such an amazing experience to be with Melissa, Ryan, Willow and Lachlan for just 48 short hours. I will never forget being there with them. Melissa and Ryan are such amazing parents. They are so devoted to all three of their children and are doing everything in their power to make sure that they are well taken care of. Their parental instincts are very strong and they have a full-time job being advocates for their children. It is humbling to watch and listen. I am so blessed to have all five of them in my life and I can't wait to see them grow up together as a family. Thank you to Melissa, Ryan, Willow and Lachlan for allowing me to leave my own world for a couple days and to be intimately involved in your world. I will never forget it. And to Ian, I can't wait to meet you some day! Stay strong and keep growing, dear little babies!